Sunday, April 1, 2012

Upon ending my 20s

     I always thought that turning 30 would feel weirder. I guess it will throughout the next year when I actually have to say it out loud to someone who is 23 and asking me how old I am. I bet that will sting a little bit.
     In short, my 20s were FUN! I loved living on my own, I loved playing guitar and singing out on the stoop of my BYU house until the wee hours of the morning. I loved dating when I wanted to and not dating when I didn't want to and meeting new people every semester. Parties, dances, AWESOME roomates, random weekend excursions to concerts on the other side of the country just because I could. I just really loved most everything about my college experience, both scholastically and socially. I was learning SO much at school and excelling there and it was really fulfilling, but at the same time I was growing and having a blast in my social life as well. It was just a really awesome time of my life that I will always love and cherish. I suppose I can't forget my amazing mission consumed 1/10th of my 20s. What a wild and crazy ride that was! Though college and my mission were freaking amazing... they don't compare to the last 7 years of my 20s which include SAM! Dating, falling in love, getting married, being newly married, graduating from college together, having kids together, getting our first big individual jobs after college, buying our first home together... it has all been seriously ideal and amazing!
     So though my 20s were the best time of my life so far; for now... 30 feels kinda good and doesn't hurt as bad as I thought it would. I have all of the things I ever could have hoped for by the time I turned 30. I have an amazing marriage that makes me happy daily, we have a home in a beautiful part of the country that is within a few hours drive of our family, I graduated from a great college with a useful degree, I have experience in a few very promising careers that I can take up again once my kids are grown, and I am happy to be spending my days with my young children to be here for them and help them grow. My day to day life is not glamorous in any way, but my existence in general is satisfying and just feels really good. I am happy with where I’ve been and I’m really looking forward to where I’m going; so I don’t know that I could ask for more than that!
     All that being said, I’m sure that the baby weight will linger longer this time and that my body in general is just going to start showing more signs of wear. If I part my hair in the wrong spot, you can see that some grey hairs are starting to sneak their way into the fold. Additionally, my hair was always a very pretty color of natural blonde growing up. I always loved the color it was, especially after the summer when it was full of highlights. Since I turned 25 or so and started having babies, it has dimmed into some kind of strange reddish/light brownish color. Definitely not as peppy or fun as the blonde of my youth, but I guess it just is what it is! Also, My knees and lower back definitely hurt if I wear my high heels for too long. I have lost the volition to wear makeup every single day or put much thought into outfits on days that I know I’m not doing anything of importance (which seems to be 75% of the time now). My daily life is definitely more lame than it was when I was 20, but it’s a lot more meaningful too so I guess that’s not such a bad trade off.
     Can I just say that my favorite thing about my 20s was losing that pesky babyfat I had been packing around since I finished puberty at age 16? I never felt fat as a teenager, not even pudgy. I actually had a really healthy body image. HOW THIS IS THE CASE IS TOTALLY BEYOND ME. I absolutely cringe every time I see a picture of myself between 16 and 22. I just had this hugely pudgey face. At the time, I thought it was my natural face shape, I had no idea I was just packing around a layer of fluff that I would naturally grow out of soon. It’s probably best I was oblivious to it because I would have been really depressed.
For instance, I am 20 or 21 in all of the following pictures and weigh within 5-8 pounds of nonpregnant current Lori:

Okay, that last one doesn't count... it's right after I got my wisdom teeth out but it was a hilarious picture so I threw it in there, lol.

      As for the rest of them however, I weighed about the same back then as non-pregnant Lori of 2012, and yet I was just puffy and swollen for some reason—especially in my face! Bleh. I’m just glad all of that magically melted away when I was 23. I grew some cheekbones and lost all of that filling, hooray!
     So yes, I am carrying 15 extra pounds of 23 weeks of pregnant right now, but I am much happier with 30 year old Lori than the 20 year old version and here's a random current pic off of Sam's phone to prove it :)

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